Clueless

July 11, 2010
Persistent Guy: damn,u sexy ass hell.hows ur day? (okay, I love compliments, but you must to be a gentleman to attract a lady.)

July 22, 2010
Persistent Guy: wassup,i been hitting u up,u aint never answer me (Note to guys. Yes you. All of you. Get your pens and sheets of paper out: if a girl is not responding to you, then that does not mean try harder. There is nothing wrong with Facebook, or your Internet connection. We are just not that into you. It's called subtlety, but we'll get into that more a little later.)

July 24, 2010
Persistent Guy: where u went? (As if I was ever with him.)

May 26, 2011
Persistent Guy: hey checkout my new song,on my page,comment (Never did get around to listening to his track.)

June 5, 2011
Persistent Guy: did u listen my new song? (Felt kind of bad, since I try to always support new, upcoming artists.)

August 18, 2011
Persistent Guy: sup? how u been?

September 11, 2011
Persistent Guy: sup beautiful?

Okay, in all honestly, I have no beef with Persistent Guy. I respect and appreciate his hustle, as I truly wish more guys would be more assertive when approaching girls. He tries, and tries, and tries and he doesn't give up until he is satisfied (perhaps, this is a strength and a weakness of his). While his endurance is attractive, after I've ignored him about seven times, not responding to any of his messages, I thought he would have gotten the hint—that I was not interested.

Well, I thought wrong.

He didn't get the hint. I was annoyed at this point and, honestly, the more he hit me up, the more he looked like a complete fool in my mind.

I have always struggled with this and the mind debate going on in my head has been left open. I still have yet to decide which is the best and right thing to do. Maybe you have some advice for me.

Should a girl, who is not interested in going out, having sex, even using a guy (for whatever she wants to use him for—money, orgasm, whatever—tell him, with brutal honesty, that she is simply not interested, even if the guy has only said hi (numerous times?), so as to not lead him on, in any kind of way? Or should she be polite and have a conversation with the guy—it was hard enough for him to say something, it's the least she can do—and then let him down gently?

I mean, really, I have struggled with this and I have tried both of the above mentioned ways, which leaves me even more confused. Whenever I've told guys upfront (nicely) that I wasn't interested, that he should, perhaps, try his luck with another girl, they get defensive, start saying rude things—of course, because their egos are shattered a bit. They call me mean, and, in an attempt to insult me, they tell me that this is the reason why I am single and that being this way, I will never get a man. I say attempt, because pointing out that I am single is the furthest thing from an insult; I enjoy my solidarity—no, really, I do. I can just sense some of you rolling their eyes, thinking to yourselves, the only reason why I am saying this is because I've been hurt, dumped, done wrong by a man, and claiming that I am happy being single is merely a defense mechanism so that my feelings aren't hurt—which is why I've made the conscious choice.

I've also taken the other route—playing along and engaging in friendly conversation, trying my best to sound as unattractive as possible, responding with one-word answers, mentioning that I like being single or lying and telling them that I already have a boyfriend, hoping that they will loose interest and forget about me. To my surprise, every single one of these tactics had me ended up in the dog house. And, worst of all, perhaps, is that when I've lied about being in a relationship, that seemed to pique their interest even more. What is it with guys and being faithful? They seem to see it as an accomplishment to bed a girl who is pursued by other guys, including those girls who are in relationships already. That's the way to hook a girl, real smooth.

A girl just can't win. Either way she's doomed. Or maybe I am the one doing things wrong. Let me know what you think.